Friday, January 14, 2011

On keeping my mouth shut

Do you ever have inappropriate thoughts come into your head?

No, no I don't mean those inappropriate thoughts, well, maybe you do...but I mean the kind of thoughts that really shouldn't be said out loud?

Well, I was at the chiropractor this morning and as he was stretching my neck he asked if I was doing anything fun over the weekend. I told him a few things I might be doing, then I asked him if he had any plans.

He mentioned several things- work out, clean off the salty paw prints from his car seats {from his dog that he brings into the office}, etc. then he mentioned that he needed to go grocery shopping.

As soon as he said it a thought came into my mind of something I read on a blogger friend's blog:

"I hate pooping. Total 'waste' of time sitting in a stinky cubicle. I have to go grocery shopping. I hate spending money on food. I love to eat good food. Good food makes you poop. I hate to poop. I hate to spend money on poop."

Yup, that's what came into my mind when my chiropractor said he needed to go grocery shopping.

Good thing I didn't say it because I was thisclose. That would have been awkward. Real awkward. It probably would have made him throw up in my face.

What I did say? "Oh, grocery shopping's always fun!"

Good censorship, Natasha. Good job...

Oh, and by the way, I was referred to this chiropractor by a male friend (C.) who had gone to him before.

C. asked me at FHE on Monday how I liked this chiropractor (first day going to him) and I said I thought he was good.

He said "Oh, really? Yeah, I think you like him for other reasons, don't you?" And then he winked at me.

Geez, what type of person do I look like? Yeah, the only reason I go to a male chiropractor is so I can have a man touch me....on my neck and back. Cause goodness knows I'm not getting it anywhere else.

But he does smell good. Just saying.

6 comments:

Noelle said...

I'm going to take lessons from you on keeping my mouth shut.

And if that chiropracter smells good...go to him every single day! That's what I would do! :)

Becky said...

Laughed so hard! Love you!

Holly Walker Kravetz said...

you are pure perfection you know that?!

Nancy said...

Oh, Natasha....!

Today's Gift said...

Noelle- It only works sometimes. He probably would have just laughed, but glad I didn't say if after all. And sadly, insurance only pays for so many visits otherwise I would be going everyday!

Becky- Glad to give you a laugh! Love you too!

Holly- I do what I can. ;-)

Nancy- What can I say? At least it didn't come out of my mouth.

Valerie said...

You make me laugh :)

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