Sunday, May 13, 2012

Motherhood

(32 weeks pregnant)



Motherhood is on my mind quite a lot these days. This Mother's day will be unique in that it will be the only one in my life that I am almost a mother but not quite yet...

A little over a year ago, in February 2011, I received a diagnosis from a doctor that would possibly result in me having trouble bearing children. I remember sitting with my parents after the doctor visit and just crying. The thing I most wanted in my life was to be a mother. I was trying to do everything right- why would it possibly be denied me? At the time, Jesse and I had not been on our first date. Little did I know that less than a year later, I would be pregnant. It came quickly. Jesse knew I might have trouble having children, and he was fine with it. He said we could explore other options if we couldn't have our own children and for that I was grateful, but deep down I still wanted a biological baby of our own.

As a result, pending motherhood has me thinking about a lot of things.
Some of them obvious such as, "will our baby boy have irresistibly chubby cheeks?" or "will he have long eyelashes like his dad?"

Yet, deep down, other questions and thoughts tug at my heart as well. Hopes and dreams for our baby...

I need to teach our boy to know the love of his Heavenly Father and savior, Jesus Christ and how to help him feel when the Holy Ghost is whispering to his heart and mind.
I need to teach him to honor the priesthood and to honor womanhood.
I need to teach him how to honor his sacred ordinances and covenants.
And hopefully being an example of, kindness, charity, compassion, reverence, humility, adventure, and curiosity, he will learn these things also.
I need to teach him how to pray and read scriptures.
How to love life.
How to not be afraid of change.

I recently read a quote by Gordon B. Hinckley (source):
"You are the bearers of the children. You are they who nurture them and establish within them the habits of their lives. No other work reaches so close to divinity as does the nurturing of the sons and daughters of God."

No other work reaches so close to divinity. Men, even though they hold the priesthood, are not as close to divinity as mothers. That's a big responsibility. Mothers, who nurture their children, are as close to divine as you can get, without being God. What a great responsibility mothers have.

I know time goes quickly. I know that this babe that I am now carrying will one day grow up and hopefully marry and have children of his own. But I don't want to think about that right now because it will make me cry. I want to be the best mother that I can be for him in the moment.

Yes, this pregnancy has been difficult in some ways- I was pretty sick for the first trimester and I've been swollen and itchy and famished lately. But, I love feeling our baby move inside of me. I love feeling his kicks and somersaults. All in all, this has been more wonderful that I imagined.

I'm grateful to my own mom for raising me the way she did. I'm grateful that she taught me what motherhood is all about and for being patient with me when I wasn't easy to be patient with. I'm grateful she taught me to love the gospel and to pray and gain a testimony for myself.

I'm grateful to Jesse's mom for raising a man who knows what it means to honor the priesthood and respect womanhood and with a desire to be a father. I'm grateful that she let him be his own person. And even though they have gone through some trials as a family, I'm grateful for the love she showed and the strength she had. I'm grateful she taught him to love the scriptures and how to cook and sew and do laundry.

How very grateful I am for the opportunity to be a mother- I hope I can live up to this divine responsibility.

And now two quotes that I love about motherhood:

"There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. Many are able to be “full-time moms,” at least during the most formative years of their children’s lives, and many others would like to be. Some may have to work part-or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else." Russell M. Ballard

“You have nothing in this world more precious than your children. When you grow old, when your hair turns white and your body grows weary, when you are prone to sit in a rocker and meditate on the things of your life, nothing will be so important as the question of how your children have turned out ... Do not trade your birthright as a mother for some bauble of passing value ... The baby you hold in your arms will grow quickly as the sunrise and the sunset of the rushing days.” Gordon B. Hinckley

Happy Mother's Day!

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Two Easter photos

I know this is almost a month overdue, but I love this photo so I'm adding it.
This was taken on Saturday, April 7th (the day before Easter) at my parent's house.
(My mom, dad, sister, Jesse and I. And just for reference I was 27 weeks pregnant).


My Aunt (mom's sister), cousin, her daughter and their dog drove down from Northern Ohio to visit that day. My cousin and her family weren't able to come to our wedding so it was nice for them to meet Jesse.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Update- 30 weeks + Question

I'm 30 weeks pregnant! (31 weeks tomorrow!)

I can't believe our little baby will be here in about 10 weeks. That's crazy to think about- I know the time will just fly by.

Yesterday night as we were falling asleep, my belly was up against Jesse's back and Jesse said to me: "I can feel the baby kicking pretty hard! Every time I try to go to sleep he kicks. How are you getting any sleep?" Yes, he kept me up too. Night time is party time for baby Dahl! It's okay. He's definitely worth losing sleep over.

I had a doctor's appt today and I'm measuring right on schedule. Yay!
We joke that he will end up being an 11 pound baby! Haha, I sure hope not. But I am praying that he will have chubby cheeks.

For the past few weeks, I've had this really itchy rash/kind of little pustules (I don't like that word!) on my hands, feet, and on my belly. I mentioned it to the doctor at my last appointment (two weeks ago) and she thought it was hand and mouth disease. They did some blood work but everything came back fine.
Originally, Jesse and I thought it was poison ivy, which makes sense because we had been in a place where there was poison ivy, but it wasn't going away. Then we thought it was hives from a detergent or soap, but neither of the brands have been changed recently. Anyway, I still have it and maybe we'll never know what it is...so I've just been using calamine lotion in the mean time to stop the itchiness for a little bit. Some relief is better than none.

I want to post a picture, but right now my camera is MIA. I'll try to take one tonight with Jesse's camera and then post it soon.

In other news, my sister wants to throw us a baby shower! That is so kind of her! Jesse and I originally weren't planning on registering anywhere- we were just going to buy things ourselves little by little when we got paid. Not that I expect people to bring things to the baby shower, but now we at least have the opportunity to register at a store for things we might not otherwise have gotten.

Which brings me to my question-

If you have children, what are some things that you or your baby loved using or you felt like you couldn't have lived without when they were little?

We're not planning on buying lots of things because I know there is a chance our son might not like it and we (or other people) would have wasted the money...but a general idea of what you liked would be awesome.

(My visiting teaching companion suggested that we borrow as many things as we can to try them out first and see if our baby likes them before we buy it ourselves, which I think is very good advice).

If you feel like answering the question I would love to hear your responses!
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