I have been thinking about this quote (below) by President Monson a lot lately.
"If we live only for tomorrow, we’ll have a lot of empty yesterdays today."
Sometimes, I feel like I am living in the future. That I'm not making use of the time that I have here, now. I'm dreaming of some future event or great life solution rather than being happy with what I have right now. I am being acted upon rather than acting. I don't like this but I'm not exactly sure how to change.
I think part of my problem is that I procrastinate. I need to stop putting off those things that are important and do them now. I spend too much time doing things, that in the end, won't really matter that much. I need help. I feel like I'm standing in my own way of progress and it frustrates me. I mess things up despite my efforts. I'm in a rut and I hate this feeling.
Also, I've been thinking about change and impact. Am I really making an impact in the world? Am I being the change that I wish to see? I'm not so sure I am. I want to be consistant in my service to others but I think my frailities stand in the way. Those times that I wasn't quite good enough, or didn't do it exactly the right way come back and haunt me and prevent me from acting when I really should. In these cases, I do nothing since I'm afraid of messing up again and making the same mistakes. This shouldn't be the case.
"A mansion on a hill or love like in the movies, perfect little world where no one has a problem. Instead of all these things I thought I really wanted, I've been given what I need."
I have, I just need to recognize it and stop dreaming of those things I really want.